Rectum

Spelet Rectum släpptes på The Party 1992.

Det är ett split screen shoot-em-up, som faktiskt är riktig roligt när man spelar mot någon annan person. Spelar man mot datorn är det istället riktigt tråkigt.

Grafiken gjordes av Belial (Tomas Lainas).

Ladda ner det här:


Resten av inlägget blir på engelska, direkt från källkoden:

- R E C T U M -
IT WILL BE LIKE SHIT ANYWAY...

DARK HOURS APPROACHES MANKIND. HALF OF THE POPULATION HAVE SUCCUMBED TO AN EPIDEMIC OF SOMETHING VERY UNPLEASANT WHICH LIKE AN UNCONTROLABLE NUCLEAR REACTION HAS SPREAD ITSELF ACROSS THE PLANET EARTH. ANARCHY AND BERT KARLSSON REIGNS AMONG THE SURVIVORS. CHAOS PREVAILS EVERYWHERE, THE ONLY SPOKEN LANGUAGE IS THE NAKED, BRUTAL AND UNMERCIFUL LANGUAGE OF VIOLENCE. WAR SWEEPS OVER COUNTRIES LIKE TORNADOS ON RAPE-FIELDS AND DEVASTATES EVERYTHING IN ITS WAY. IS THIS THE END OF MANKIND? IS THERE REALLY NO HOPE? AND WHAT HAVE THIS GOT TO DO WITH THE GAME? THE QUESTIONS ARE JUST AS MANY AS THEY ARE STUPID, AND THE ANSWERS ARE JUST AS UNCERTAIN AS WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS IN ITS BOSOM.

WELL. YOU ARE IN ANY CASE SITUATED IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS MESS OF ANXIETY. ACTUALLY YOU ARE IN THE HEADQUARTERS OF E.S.W.M.T.D.A.P.T.A.T.E. (EARTH SPACEFLEET WITH MISSION TO DESTROY ALL POSSIBLE THREATS AGAINST THE EARTH). IN FACT, YOU AND THE OTHER OFFICERS HAVE NOT SUCCEDED VERY WELL. STRICTLY SPOKEN, YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE LEFT. THE SIMPLE EXPLANATION IS OF COURSE THAT
YOU WERE EMPLOYED AS A BOTTLE OPENER AND THEREFOR DID NOT PARTICIPATE IN THE DANGEROUS BUSINESS.

YOU ARE SITTING AND COUNTING THE HAIR GROWING OUT OF YOUR NOSTRILS FEELING LIKE ONE OF THE LAME MEMBERS OF NOXIOUS WHEN SUDDENLY A SCREEN WITH A SIREN STARTS TO FLASH AND HOOT. APATHETIC YOU RAISE YOUR HEAD AND TRY TO MAKE OUT THE TEXT ON THE SCREEN. IT SAYS:
STATUS: DANGER
CAUSED BY: ALIEN INTRUDER
ACTION: MUTILATE INTRUDER

WITH A MIND FULL OF QUESTIONS YOU STARE AT THE SIGN AND SUDDENLY YOU FEEL THE PREASSURE UPON YOU. THE EARTH IS THREATENED AND YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE LEFT TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. FASTER THAN THE SPEED OF ARNE WEISE YOU THROW YOURSELF INTO THE NEAREST BATTLE SHIP AND TAKE OFF! YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE SPACE TRACKS. COOOOOOL MAN!

WILL YOU STOP THE ENEMY? OR PERHAPS YOU ARE THE ENEMY? IS THIS YOUR LAST DAY ALIVE? DID YOU REMEBER TO TURN OFF THE OWEN? THE TERROR HAS MERELY BEGUN. IT IS NOW UP TO YOU TO HUMILIATE AND DESTROY THE BAD OR THE GOOD! THE ONE THAT HESITATES WILL DIE!